I want to believe that polyamory invites honesty, as acknowledging upfront in a relationship that it's reasonable to have other attractions and even other relationships creates a place where it is safe to be honest. (My idealism, and has been proven not necessarily true, but I persist in believing it is so, and really my top reason for choosing polyamory.)
Polyamory provides opportunity to develop any relationship to it's fullest potential. Whether any given relationship grows to deep and intimate friendship, lover-hood, chosen family, or whatever other type of relationship I allow into my life, it's ok, encouraged even.
And, related to the second reason, no one person is required to be another's all in all and everything. Discovering friends and lovers who share commonalities with me allows that other's who do not have those same interests the freedom and time to pursue their own without any guilt or resentment from either person.
Shared work. It has been my experience throughout life, even not within polyamory, that working together is a very bonding and intimate activity. In the kitchen, in the garden, camping, anywhere the workload can be shared, having many hands helps to create one heart. This is one of my favorite things about polyamory.
I have a deep belief that love comes wherever it may, regardless of chromosomes and genitals. I have often given myself the label BISEXUAL but am moving away from that to this idea that it's not about loving and having sex with a gender, but about the almost spiritual connection that can surprise me in any form at any time. Polyamory allows me to be open to receive that connection.
The people I call my friends within the poly community are supportive of me. And we all can use any number of supportive people in our lives. They accept who I am, with all my issues and idiot-syncrasies. They are truly there for me in all the moments of my life, whether for celebration or for grieving or for help holding me up from crashing.
Polyamory is, to me, a growing place. Everyone is different and brings their own gifts into a poly relationship. We get to celebrate those gifts and create a safe place to work on others in development. There is plenty of room to grow, even if we sometimes need someone to hold our hand through it.
"Heart partnering as a poly model is based on the realization that if a partner has a problem, it's your problem, too, and if you have a problem, it also belongs to your partners, too. Without a deep commitment to heart partnering, you deny yourself and your partners the richness of telepathic contact and the strong levels of shared psychic energy that characterize the most healthy poly families. Without a deep commitment to heart partnering, the elephant in the living room will never be dealt with and will never go away."
While it's not a priority in my poly life, or any life I might have, sex is certainly part of the perks of polyamory. All the various sexual persona I may wish to play with, a ton of nurturing and loving sex from more than one partner with the uniqueness of their own persona and technique. Fun!
Please add your own list in comments. I'd be very interested in reading them. If you're not poly, feel free to add a list of reasons why the idea doesn't work for you, or why you choose another form of loving relationship in your life.
