Intelligence

There's book smart.  

There's smartmouthed.  

There's street smart.  

There's real intelligence. 

There's feigned incompetence.  

Learned incompetence. 

There's too lazy to learn.  

There's asking questions and figuring it out.  

This is my frustration. 

Question from a Reader

Do you sometimes think, deep down, in your heart of hearts, that poly is "a bad idea"?

At least as often as deep down in my heart of hearts i think it's a great idea!

I've had some pretty ugly experiences. Some my doing, some not so much. Yet I can't imagine my life without the mindset that it can be real, it can be A Very Good Thing, that I can make that happen for me. You, for instance, set a beautiful example of the wonderful way poly can manifest in our lives. I know others whose relationships are inspiring. And certainly I see examples of polyamorous relationship styles that I absolutely could not manage, being who I am. I see many others who, like me, identify poly yet have only that one significant other, "at least until another loving partner comes into my life."

I think about how difficult it is to meet ANYONE, yet alone someone compatible personally and in the values for and philosophy of love, relationship, and Life. I'm certainly not waiting around for the RIGHT additional partner to come along. Whether or not my dyad becomes triad or some other combination of people loving and living life together, deep down in my heart of hearts I trust that polyamory will keep my heart and mind open for whatever love, in whatever form, the Universe brings me.

In the Beginning..

I read other people's blogs.  I value some opinions and content, and frankly, sneer and shake my head at others.   I think to myself, I am a better writer...I could do that...I want MY thoughts out there, they have at least the same value as these.

I often don't know what to write about...that's where whatever creativity I have fails.  I hope to write posts responding to the world around me...what I read, observe, experience.  I have also asked Spouse to feed me topics to write on.  I will plan to write no less than once a week.

So here's to an auspicious beginning!

Everybody's Got a Dream

I've been thinking about what mine are lately.

In many ways I am living what I think of as my dream these days.  It's the hiking thing.  I have been walking in the woods and mountains a couple times a week for a few months.  I got to go backpacking once this summer, almost twice, and may be able to go over the winter, too.  I had to give up The Enchantment hikes because of the issue with my foot.  Next year I'll do it, that's a point on the dream list.

I want to do section hikes on the PCT over the next few years.  That's approximately 40 miles at a time...a week, probably.

I want to do more hiking on Rainier and in the Olympics.  I want to go to Wyoming and hike The Tetons and Yellowstone.

I want to hike no matter where we are in the world.

I want to live where I can walk out the door and get to trails.  I want all ultralight gear. :)  I want to be thinner to be both healthy and attractive, as well as relieve my knees, hips, and feet of the extra weight I carry.

I think my dreams here are attainable.  I am working toward them now and all the time.

Attitude is Everything...or maybe I am just that lovable. :)

I spent most all morning at the DOL renewing my driver's license.  You've probably been there, you know it's not an especially friendly place.  And the wait can be forever.  


So I wait...yay for crosswords and crochet, because I forgot the book I'm reading (Three Cups of Tea or A Walk in the Woods...two at a time).  I brought everything I needed to make a day of it, except food.  And I ought to have brought snacks.  :)  

I'm finally called and in the waiting brain daze I manage to forget to tell the woman exactly what I want done with my license.  So we get all the way through...and have to start over.  *sigh*  I'm patient, she's only a little put out.  All that gets done and everything is in order so I go have my photo taken...

And the name isn't correct.  *gah!*

I go back to the woman at Counter 2.  I have to wait for her to finish with her current customer, of course.  I explain what happened, what I want.  I think I am clear.

Still just not quite clear enough.  I think we were having a bit of communication breakdown.  But we go through it all again, and the computer freezes up.  *O.M.G*

I've kept a really great attitude through this process.  The clerk and I chatted through it.  She asked if I liked to read and recommended an author.  I recommended someone to her in a similar genre.  We had a pleasant conversation, just waiting and chatting.  Finally she got an override from the supervisor and away I went with my  correct name, address, and a new photo and expiration date.  *shwew*

I cannot imagine how things might have gone had a I been less than pleasant, occasionally apologetic, patient, and gently insistent.   She, too, kept a good attitude.  Although I think she would start our conversation being a bit defensive...if I had been an asshole, she would have been one right back.  I think most of our negative experiences in this sort of bureaucratic venue can be minimized by our own attitude.  What might have been a stressful and ugly few hours turned into a reasonably good time and an interaction I can be proud of my part in.

Everybody's Got a Dream, Revisited

My dream is changing...growing...

Oh, I still want to do all that hiking, for certain.  And here in Northeastern Washington I am much closer to the trails, although there are not as many urban trails.

I never in my life wanted to own a home until I got to Kettle Falls. Here, I think I found a place that suits me...that feels like home. Mine, not someone else's.

Through the generosity and dream of someone(s) who love me, possibility becomes an amazing reality.  The dream grows and mutates and now I am part owner in this beautiful home on Lake Roosevelt.  Much, much more home than I ever imagined.

A partnership is formed...business, and so much more.   A plan is set in motion.  B&B, vacation rental, wedding and event venue...all in this beautiful house.

My personal (and very long term) goal is to ultimately own the house by myself.  Of course, I've yet to make the first payment...but still.

Snowy Saturday Morning

I'm all weepy this morning.  No apparent reason.

I read this on my facebook feed (thanks Diane). While I'm watching the snow fall gently on the lake (melancholy backdrop), I'm wondering who, if anyone, knows me like those questions allow. Is there someone, somewhere-hopefully nearby, that I would like to know me like that, and I, them?

I'd love to go through the questions from the study with someone I love, and maybe with someone I might like to go there with.  Ya know?

But in the meantime, I'll watch the snow and be all weepy and shit.

(Weeping Willow on a Snow Day photo by blogger Amishalom at Gaversichtva)